I was going through my bank statement today and somehow for some reason I thought that I had $60 left in my account, which was supposed to last until Thursday when I get paid...not the case. I completely forgot about the stupid service charge if you have less that $1500 in your account. But oh well, it will work out. It just means that I have to find another job...and ASAP.
I didn't light any candles last night :( Its weird how I felt like something was missing...It became part of me :( But I still prayed (my way) and it was very satisfying. I think God is finally starting to notice me...
I need a hug.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Dear God,
Dear God,
Why do I have the worst immune system in the world? This is the second time I get the flu this month and every time I get it, I spend at least 10 days in bed. It's NOT fun!
Your very confused servant
Yokheved
Why do I have the worst immune system in the world? This is the second time I get the flu this month and every time I get it, I spend at least 10 days in bed. It's NOT fun!
Your very confused servant
Yokheved
Monday, October 11, 2010
Amazing dinner!
Hello,
I just came back from an amazing dinner! I had so much fun and I'll probably blog about it tomorrow. Today, however, I want to blog about or rather recall a dream I've been having a lot lately...3 nights in a row to be exact. Same characters, same place, same timing...It's not the first time I've experienced something like this. I've had repetitive dreams before. I don't know if they serve any purpose...or point towards something but they're certainly not random. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about moving. I know that it probably won't happen until the lawsuit is taken care of, but the thought is very scary and intimidating. I have spent my whole life traveling and moving from one place to another. I never intended for Winnipeg to be my final destination...I clearly don't belong here...but I sure hope and pray to God that I find my final destination very soon :( I can't do this anymore. I want to settle down and live a normal lfie. Oh how I miss home :( I miss my father, my brother my sisters my house my neighborhood. I don't know how much longer I can cope.
So I see myself in this old synagogue, its huge and old and its got Hebrew and Arabic writings on its walls...I couldn't read the Arabic, it was too blurry. I see myself standing there, alone (as usual). But I seem very confused and stressed out. and at one point I think I started crying. And then I wake up.
I think I have an idea of why I'm seeing what I'm seeing...Maybe I was having a conversation with God. I used to have godly meetings all the time...where I just talk and He listens. He was my best friend. Not anymore. He let me down so many times. I don't think I trust Him anymore. I'm so mad at Him. He was my everything :(
Oh how I want to talk to Him again :( I only want to ask Him to give me patience and the ability to forgive those who wronged me.
I just came back from an amazing dinner! I had so much fun and I'll probably blog about it tomorrow. Today, however, I want to blog about or rather recall a dream I've been having a lot lately...3 nights in a row to be exact. Same characters, same place, same timing...It's not the first time I've experienced something like this. I've had repetitive dreams before. I don't know if they serve any purpose...or point towards something but they're certainly not random. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about moving. I know that it probably won't happen until the lawsuit is taken care of, but the thought is very scary and intimidating. I have spent my whole life traveling and moving from one place to another. I never intended for Winnipeg to be my final destination...I clearly don't belong here...but I sure hope and pray to God that I find my final destination very soon :( I can't do this anymore. I want to settle down and live a normal lfie. Oh how I miss home :( I miss my father, my brother my sisters my house my neighborhood. I don't know how much longer I can cope.
So I see myself in this old synagogue, its huge and old and its got Hebrew and Arabic writings on its walls...I couldn't read the Arabic, it was too blurry. I see myself standing there, alone (as usual). But I seem very confused and stressed out. and at one point I think I started crying. And then I wake up.
I think I have an idea of why I'm seeing what I'm seeing...Maybe I was having a conversation with God. I used to have godly meetings all the time...where I just talk and He listens. He was my best friend. Not anymore. He let me down so many times. I don't think I trust Him anymore. I'm so mad at Him. He was my everything :(
Oh how I want to talk to Him again :( I only want to ask Him to give me patience and the ability to forgive those who wronged me.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Thanksgiving
Hello,
It is GORGEOUS today. Actually the weather has been pretty amazing the last couple of days...perfect for a long weekend. I didn't have much to do this weekend but tomorrow I'm going over to my roommate's parents house/farm up north. I'm excited to see what they do for thanksgiving. My roommates been talking about this thing the bake for thanksgiving called Wreinki which is basically cottage cheese pergoies...*excited* baking for me is like boost of glutamate lol a hyper depolarization, something I can't describe lol.
Other than that, I've been doing absolutely nothing. I have a feeling that my roommate thinks I'm depressed (and hence the thanksgiving dinner invitation, despite her knowing very well that I am "Jewish"). She probably wants me to get out and see people which is nice of her. Last time I actually stepped outside was on Tuesday. Yep, 5 days ago. I just feel like I've lost interest in everything...and especially people.
On a more happier note, I baked a giant cookie to take with me tomorrow! It actually turned out pretty cool. Here are some pictures:
The other not so giant cookie (lol) is for our neighbor's daughter. She brought us creamy tomato soup last night, it was heavenly (She's the most adorable kid I've ever seen!).
I have nothing else to say.
Till next time,
It is GORGEOUS today. Actually the weather has been pretty amazing the last couple of days...perfect for a long weekend. I didn't have much to do this weekend but tomorrow I'm going over to my roommate's parents house/farm up north. I'm excited to see what they do for thanksgiving. My roommates been talking about this thing the bake for thanksgiving called Wreinki which is basically cottage cheese pergoies...*excited* baking for me is like boost of glutamate lol a hyper depolarization, something I can't describe lol.
Other than that, I've been doing absolutely nothing. I have a feeling that my roommate thinks I'm depressed (and hence the thanksgiving dinner invitation, despite her knowing very well that I am "Jewish"). She probably wants me to get out and see people which is nice of her. Last time I actually stepped outside was on Tuesday. Yep, 5 days ago. I just feel like I've lost interest in everything...and especially people.
On a more happier note, I baked a giant cookie to take with me tomorrow! It actually turned out pretty cool. Here are some pictures:
The other not so giant cookie (lol) is for our neighbor's daughter. She brought us creamy tomato soup last night, it was heavenly (She's the most adorable kid I've ever seen!).I have nothing else to say.
Till next time,
